Dissipation: when a spouse wastes marital money

As a marriage breaks down, money sometimes starts disappearing — a spouse gambles away savings, showers an affair partner with gifts, 'loans' cash to a relative who will quietly return it later, or goes on a spiteful spending spree. Courts have a name for this: dissipation of marital assets, the use of marital money for a purpose unrelated to the marriage while it is falling apart. When a judge finds dissipation, they can charge the wasted amount back against the offending spouse, effectively crediting the other spouse for their share of what vanished.

What usually counts as dissipation

• Gambling losses run up after the marriage began breaking down.
• Money or gifts spent on an affair partner — trips, jewelry, rent.
• Selling or transferring assets below value to a friend or relative to hide them.
• Reckless or spiteful spending clearly meant to shrink the marital pot.
• Large unexplained cash withdrawals with no accounting for where the money went.

What usually does not count

Ordinary spending is not dissipation, even if the other spouse resents it. Paying the mortgage, buying groceries, covering legal fees for the divorce itself, or normal lifestyle spending consistent with the marriage generally does not qualify. Courts also focus on spending after the marriage began to break down — a lavish vacation you both took happily three years earlier is not dissipation. The line is purpose: was the money used for a legitimate marital or family reason, or was it diverted for one spouse's separate, wasteful, or vindictive end?

How to prove it

1. 1
   Pull the statements

   Gather bank, credit card, and investment statements covering the breakdown period and flag unusual withdrawals, transfers, and charges.

2. 2
   Build a timeline

   Line the suspect spending up against the date the marriage began deteriorating — dissipation claims focus on that window.

3. 3
   Trace the money

   Follow transfers to their destination. A forensic accountant can reconstruct cash flows when the trail is deliberately muddied.

4. 4
   Make the claim

   Your attorney presents the evidence and asks the court to add the dissipated amount back to the marital estate before dividing it.

How the remedy works

The court does not usually make the spending spouse write a check for the wasted money. Instead it treats the dissipated amount as if it were still in the marital estate for division purposes. Say a spouse gambled away $60,000 of joint savings during the breakdown. The judge can add that $60,000 back to the pot on paper, then award it entirely to the offending spouse's column — meaning the innocent spouse gets $30,000 more of the real, remaining assets to balance the ledger. The waste comes out of the wrongdoer's share, not out of thin air.

The bottom line

If your spouse is draining accounts or funneling money out as the marriage ends, that behavior is not just infuriating — it may be legally recoverable as dissipation. Save statements, note the timing, and trace where the money went, because unexplained spending during the breakdown can be charged back against the spender. Conversely, keep your own spending ordinary and documented so you are not the one answering for it. This is general education, not legal advice; standards vary by state, so consult a family law attorney.